19 February, 2012

A Healthy Diet, During a Zombie Apocalypse

Beyond surviving the initial hordes of infected which will swarm our world as we know it, starvation and dehydration are an extremely critical factor to consider when planning to endure the zombie apocalypse. The effects caused by malnutrition can and will hinder your ability to function and if severe enough will eventually lead to death!

Imagine, just a for a moment, encountering a group of the undead.

The sounds their lifeless bodies make as they notice your presence. Slack-jawed, rotting flesh and dried blood hanging from blackened teeth, they begin to enclose on your position. You may be defenseless, they may be too numerous. Your heart skips a beat, only to race a moment later.

Mouth dry, painfully you force yourself to swallow just so you can breathe. The shock has worn off just enough that you can begin to think clearly. After what seems a lifetime of terror in one brief moment, you turn to run away, knowing that you may have speed on your side. Realizing that all the cardio conditioning you've been doing will pay-off and save your life. Your body's instincts begin to take over and with one leg following the other, you push against the ground with a force you've never known.

Taking in the deep breaths to support your body, you begin to feel a welcome sense of relief as you put more distance between yourself and your would be masticators...a crippling pain swells over your body. Your leg gives out from under you, unable to support the pressure, you fall to the ground. Gripping at the torment within your calve, it causes you to forget why you were running but only for a moment.

Amidst the excruciating sensation, you begin to fill with despair and terror, realizing once again why you were running in the first place. Unable to stand, you begin crawl. Pushing with your one functioning leg, you pull yourself along the ground with one arm while clenching your useless, agony stricken leg with the other. The undead are beginning to approach as you finally realize your fate. Without poise, they fall onto you, clawing at your soft, tender flesh. The sensation of dozens of teeth penetrating your body is dulled by the overpowering adrenaline coursing though your veins, but only briefly. Saliva spewing from your lips as you let loose a blood curdling scream, which would only attract more undead, as you helplessly watch the most horrific, gruesome thing you've ever seen.

You don't feel the pain in your leg anymore. Could this be from the excessive blood loss, or have you just lost the limb altogether? As the surrounding sounds muffle to silence, the life within you begins to extinguish. Your mind is hazy as you exhale your final breath. What was living just minutes ago, is now no longer...and all because you didn't eat a fucking banana.